I have so many things going on in my head! Topics I keep thinking about are IDENTITY, MARRIAGE, FRIENDSHIPS, AND LIFESTYLE.
This past weekend I got together with girlfriends from LA, Chicago, Kansas City, and myself from ND. We facetime and google chatted our friends from NY and TX. We are spread all over this great country and have been removed from each other directly for like 7 years or so! Yet the minute we were in one another's company we were kindred spirits. There were no guards, no fences, no off-limits. It was open, honest, loving, genuine, and vulnerable. Our common denominator that brought us all together was a small liberal arts bible college in a community none of us were from! We are like minded woman in being real and having a relationship with God that doesn't fit the norm but is honest, maintained, and genuine. Quite honestly just takes my breath away at how God can bring together people that are not likely candidates on paper per say.
IDENTITY- what is your identity? Is it your family, your culture, your education, your career, your economic status, your keeping up with the Jones? Where do you find your identity, not others where do YOU find it? What if it is taken away. How can you develop your identity not by what you do but by who you are?
MARRIAGE- when do you speak up? when do you keep quiet? when is it appropriate to be selfish? when is it time to sacrifice? how do you maintain a healthy sex life? how do 2 people manage money together? how do 2 people stay on the same page and down the same path? When do you draw lines? when do you make ultimatums? how can communication be open and maintained when the circumstances are hard and less than desirable? when do you call it quits? how far do you go to make it work?
FRIENDSHIP- this was the biggest eye opener for me. This one I didn't question as much as I realized what I was missing and searching for. Everyone says life is too busy, get used to it. NO I WILL NOT! I had a weekend with girls that have families and careers and are in masters programs and we found time regardless of busy. It was a priority, not convenient, and not easy. BUT SO WORTH IT! We talked and talked and shared our stories, our ideas, or visions, our lives openly and honestly. Good, bad, ugly, pretty, all of it! Did we make time to txt others, yes.. visit facebook, yes... check emails, yes...take phone calls (personal and work), yes.. do homework, yes. We made time for things we needed to but we filled our day with conversation not activities with distractions. I always am trying to make new friends all the time and it's great but I realized what I am looking for in my search. I desire friendships that are not competitive, are not selfish, and ARE face value, ARE honest, and driven by love and truth. Truth being to tell you if you are maybe off or give you a different perspective. Not agreeing just because of your friendship but able to say "it is not ok, but I get it or I love you anyways." I am not sure how to wrap my head around how lucky I was to find girls like that to begin with. They set a standard for me and that is what I am constantly in search of.
LIFESTYLE- realized no one can actively control your lifestyle except for oneself. We often allow others to dictate our lifestyle, but that too is our choosing. Doing nothing is a choice. I have been lazy and tricked myself into thinking that my lifestyle is this way just because that is how it works. No one can make me exercise. No one can make me eat healthy. We put limits on things and create excuses. One must be driven, creative, and flexible to experience life and have the lifestyle they are desiring.
