More building

So I have continued building my family and now building my education. I have started grad school and eating better and exercising. I think although change is always hard, it has been good. Happy home :)

What are you building?

So... My cousin posted a 3 minute little chat by Lisa Brevere and it stopped me in my tracks. I am a pleaser if you will. I love God, my husband, my kids, my parents and siblings, friends, teenagers, and my community. I'm a stay at home mom that is never home and always running. Somehow I found myself completely lost and always struggling and battling not makin anyone happy and not giving anyone my best. http://youtu.be/p7Lqg5H5Y8U

So anyways her YouTube video asked me what are you building? God has called women to build their home. Building your home means building your husband and your children. That is what stopped me in my tracks... Tris, what are you building? Seems like you are running around w no time to build anything. So...new plan! 

I have started being available. I tell my husband how much I love him, how proud I am of what he does and I pray everyday for him. I tell my kids different things I love about them and what makes them special to me and take time to pray w them. I also try to continue to help my dad and mom at the ranch. I have started trying to communicate randomly with friends to let them know I care and they are special to me also.

2013 a new year of what?

As this new year has begun i am feeling incredibly heavy hearted. I am not sure what to do with all the junk in my head. I started a new business which i am incredibly excited about. my husband bought i new motorcycle that he keeps saying is for both of us but i have zero excitement about it or the investment. I started the year out 435$ in the red and a motorcycle for 21,000$ something about that sounds incredibly ridiculous! there have been deaths affecting my friends.. a grandma, a young high school boy (17), and a young man(22). Seems like an incredibly sad way to start 2013. I cant get my head out of the negative of it all. I am not sure where to go with all of this. my youth group is meeting back up on Sunday... there has been so much drama with that I am losing my momentum. I am about 34 pounds overweight and when i think about doing something about it i get incredibly hungry. ironic isnt it. i think i have an obsessive mind and i cant get it stuck on things it should be... how do i get out of this darkness in my self... how do i move forward with a good attitude when i feel like crawling under a blanket and not moving period. yes i know God is the answer. i know but how what do I do? where do i begin? how do i move on and move forward? describe me in this moment---- weak, blurry, sad, discouraged, heavy, lame, lacking, stuck, broken

Realization of my call....

This week I have been realizing more about who I am in Christ and where I am called than I have for a long time. I am not called to be a pastor. I am called to join hearts and denomination in students. I am called to help them grow and realize their own value to Christ and to love them and support them. I am called to show up and encourage them in their own relationship with God so they can experience who He is! I am not perfect. I am not all-knowing. I am nothing more than a child of God that shows up and loves teenagers when given the opportunity! In the past 6 months I have seen 17 of my students stand up in front of hundreds of people and commit their lives to Jesus! Did I personally lead them in a prayer to make that commitment? No, I didn't. But I did show up and give them the opportunity to attend things that if I hadnt showed up I dont know that they would have gone. Thank you Jesus for allowing me the opportunity to love these kids and have a small role in watching them come to know you. I am a little emotional about it, but completely humbled and blessed by it. I think I am called to be a facilitator... i dont know. but i will continue!

Forgiveness

I've been doing some thinking about the forgive and forget saying. I'm not a fan. Forgive, yes 100% we have to forgive for our own well-being as well as the one we are forgiving. However, forget? My take is we forgive and move forward. We learn from the situation and try to not end up in a recurring cycle. If someone shares something that u told them in confidence you forgive and love them but you choose wisely the information you share with them. If u borrow someone money and they don't ever pay you back.. Forgive them but don't continue to borrow the money. We can love and respect people but we need to consider their role and their expectation in our lives. My take.. Forgive and move forward. Learn from your situations and experiences. When possible learn from others experiences and save yourself the heartache! Always forgive. When you refuse to forgive you are the one that loses.

just show up

Sometimes you just gotta show up. God is doing amazing things in my youth group! I am so excited and grateful! I took students to a youth rally on Oct 18-20 and God is rockin their worlds! A student had healing in her joints. A student was filled of the emptiness she had and healed from her torment of self-mutilation and suicidal attempts and thoughts. She has been given a dream to write to other students struggling in similar areas. I have a student who has risen to be a leader. She has committed her life to God and has stepped out in praying aloud and leading her fellow students. I have young men wanting to serve God and filled with joy even in bummer times! I am still me, but God is allowing me, just me, to have an impact and share in joy, in sorrow, in fear, in dreams with amazing young people!

thank you Jesus for love me for just me.

well well well

Well.... i have completely strayed from my paleo lifestyle. I started with a weight of 167 and got down to 153 in 2 1/2 weeks. Week 3... the cheating became .. norm.  My hay or outdoor allergies while on the diet were completely absent from my life. Now they have returned in full force! My headaches were NON-existent. I had 0 headaches after day 3 of the detox, now they are back. UGGGGGG! abstaining from dairy, sugar, and grains were absolutely the best thing for me... however... apparently i am a glutton for punishment and struggle to get back on that track. WHY! idk. it's easier to just stuff my face with stuff that for the moment tastes sooooo good. Anyways, i am at 157 and hope to NOT gain anymore and get back on the road of feeling well! It is worth it! i never shoulda started cheating. Bad Idea!