almost 40

Idk why things come in and out of focus so frequently as we get older. There are times where you see and feel the vision perfectly clear and then all of a sudden it is all blurry and hard to navigate. I think sometimes being a mom, a wife, a friend,a daughter, a sister, a counselor is challenging to navigate due to the giving and receiving of complexity in needs, beliefs, expectations and situations that surround circumstances. It is hard to ever feel enough,  to feel whole, and to navigate strategies to replenish. I want desperately to be what others need and to have strength and wisdom, love and support for my husband, my kids, my friends, my students,  my brothers, my parents and I always come up feeling short or inadequate. Maybe it is just a misguided feeling, maybe it is only sometimes accurate, idk but the management of it is challenging and depleting. I am not sure how to surrender all that. I guess I am a work in progress and I need to just be ok. If only it were as simple to live it as to say it. -T