Realization of my call....

This week I have been realizing more about who I am in Christ and where I am called than I have for a long time. I am not called to be a pastor. I am called to join hearts and denomination in students. I am called to help them grow and realize their own value to Christ and to love them and support them. I am called to show up and encourage them in their own relationship with God so they can experience who He is! I am not perfect. I am not all-knowing. I am nothing more than a child of God that shows up and loves teenagers when given the opportunity! In the past 6 months I have seen 17 of my students stand up in front of hundreds of people and commit their lives to Jesus! Did I personally lead them in a prayer to make that commitment? No, I didn't. But I did show up and give them the opportunity to attend things that if I hadnt showed up I dont know that they would have gone. Thank you Jesus for allowing me the opportunity to love these kids and have a small role in watching them come to know you. I am a little emotional about it, but completely humbled and blessed by it. I think I am called to be a facilitator... i dont know. but i will continue!

Forgiveness

I've been doing some thinking about the forgive and forget saying. I'm not a fan. Forgive, yes 100% we have to forgive for our own well-being as well as the one we are forgiving. However, forget? My take is we forgive and move forward. We learn from the situation and try to not end up in a recurring cycle. If someone shares something that u told them in confidence you forgive and love them but you choose wisely the information you share with them. If u borrow someone money and they don't ever pay you back.. Forgive them but don't continue to borrow the money. We can love and respect people but we need to consider their role and their expectation in our lives. My take.. Forgive and move forward. Learn from your situations and experiences. When possible learn from others experiences and save yourself the heartache! Always forgive. When you refuse to forgive you are the one that loses.

just show up

Sometimes you just gotta show up. God is doing amazing things in my youth group! I am so excited and grateful! I took students to a youth rally on Oct 18-20 and God is rockin their worlds! A student had healing in her joints. A student was filled of the emptiness she had and healed from her torment of self-mutilation and suicidal attempts and thoughts. She has been given a dream to write to other students struggling in similar areas. I have a student who has risen to be a leader. She has committed her life to God and has stepped out in praying aloud and leading her fellow students. I have young men wanting to serve God and filled with joy even in bummer times! I am still me, but God is allowing me, just me, to have an impact and share in joy, in sorrow, in fear, in dreams with amazing young people!

thank you Jesus for love me for just me.

well well well

Well.... i have completely strayed from my paleo lifestyle. I started with a weight of 167 and got down to 153 in 2 1/2 weeks. Week 3... the cheating became .. norm.  My hay or outdoor allergies while on the diet were completely absent from my life. Now they have returned in full force! My headaches were NON-existent. I had 0 headaches after day 3 of the detox, now they are back. UGGGGGG! abstaining from dairy, sugar, and grains were absolutely the best thing for me... however... apparently i am a glutton for punishment and struggle to get back on that track. WHY! idk. it's easier to just stuff my face with stuff that for the moment tastes sooooo good. Anyways, i am at 157 and hope to NOT gain anymore and get back on the road of feeling well! It is worth it! i never shoulda started cheating. Bad Idea!

oh Q

s

Today Q came down the hill and sees me power-washing the tractor. He says, "why's a woman doing a man's job? gimme that thing." It kinda cracked me up.

kids find the simple truths

It is Flooding disastrously in Minot ND. The other day my father-in-law and i were discussing it and my 6 year old over hears. He walks into the hallway and says, "dont worry Grandpa, the flood will end and get better. God promised to never flood the earth again. When God makes a promise he NEVER breaks it"
Proud Mama Moment

No matter how long, I miss you all the same....

Today (in 2 mins) will be my uncle's birthday. He was so much more than just an uncle to me. He was my friend, my confident, my big brother... i loved him so so so so very very much. He was THE absolute coolest person i knew. He had a jeep, a trans am, a motorcycle, was a soldier, he was absolutely amazing! He was full of life, loved driving fast, going sledding, playing charades, and just loved life. He loved to take me for rides. One time we were riding in his car and he drove 145 miles an hour! it was sooooooooooo fast! and he also loved whippin cookies! One time while giving me a ride on his motorcycle he dropped me off on the side of the road and made me walk to grandpa's cuz he thought he saw a cop (i wasnt 16 and didnt have a helmet). He died in January of 1996... 15 and half years ago.. and i still miss him like it was yesterday. Tonight I read letters we had written back and forth. I wish so much that we could continue to write those letters! He told me in those letters that no matter what, HE believed in me.  As much as I loved him he loved me. I just miss him. I just miss him so much. I wish he could have gotten to know the me that i am today. He loved me as the immature, snotty, selfish little teenager! He loved the hard to love me. I just wish he were here now. I hope that he would be proud of the woman I am today.