Anger is easier

It's been a rough couple weeks. Experienced a phone call I NEVER imagined I would get. Heard my son's voice and words that I will likely never shake. So... Back it up.. a couple weeks prior to that I looked in the mirror at work and asked God, "What are you preparing me for?" Little did I know the direction that I was headed. I legit thought He was preparing me for leadership, well... Maybe He is, just not even close to the route I had in mind. Back to that phone call. I'm not going to give details right now, but my 14 year old spent the night at a friend's house, there was an accident and that phone call brought Josh and I to meet with him and his friends' family at the local hospital. Oof. I can't even put into words all that we experienced the next 2 weeks. However, I did walk away with a lesson learned. I learned anger is the easy emotion to experience, express and use. I wanted to blame, I wanted to accuse, I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw stuff. I was in and out of rage. I did not do any of those things. Instead, I bit my tongue. I cried. I hugged. I loved. I reached out. It would have been easy to NOT do those things, much easier. I also figured out that the anger was masking my fear. Anger was masking me feeling guilty, some shame, but mostly fear. I went to a training the Monday after and something was said that helped and shifted a change in my perspective. "In failure, in mistakes find the hidden treasure, the hidden lesson." What could I find in all of this? What lessons could I learn, could my son learn, may family learn. What good could come of this tragic accident?
1. God answers prayer and aligns even the hard things to work out for the good. 2. Respect of things, even when you are confident you know and are, be respectful and cautious. 
3. Don't be easily offended, accept others trying to help and see it as that.
4. Show up even when it is painful, difficult and just plain easier not to.
5. Be honest, be patient.
6. Respond not react. The first thing going through your mind is probably not the best thing to share.
7. Give others benefit of the doubt. Allow people to love you. Be vulnerable and trust that others are kinder, stronger and better than you think.
There are lessons, there are treasures in our experiences.
It's been 2 and a half weeks now and we have gotten amazing, miraculous results and news. Yet I am still growing. I'm still practicing responding versus reacting. Still practicing loving rather than running or disengaging. Life is all about learning, loving and being. A major area of learning for me has been easy is rarely best. Anger is easier than facing facts, disengaging is easier than engaging or reaching out, finding fault and placing blame is easier than taking responsibility or offering forgiveness or extending grace.